Getting rid of thoughts

I hope that there is way for everything.  I need a way for what I’m looking for.  I don’t want to seem confused even to the people who are looking at me.  I just want to prove that there is God and His will.  I hope I will find way as I move and walk with my dreams.  I want to establish a company which is powerful and gives people the best of the product that I want to make.   I don’t get sleep because of I don’t feel accomplished with the day.  I started living in present tense.  I started to live and feel my dreams of becoming rich and powerful with what I do.  It is completely different from any imaginary power of feeling of being powerful.  The people I have seen recently have no education and no stress.  They are free from tensions of life.  I have met a man who has started his life as a daily wage construction laborer and today he is peaceful and rich.   But I saw a power talking to me as I saw him in his eyes.  His calm voice and pleasant smile dictates an unwritten power of his simplicity.  I have seen people not doing proper work because they don’t have someone holding a stick in their hand or monitoring them with a stick.  I call it impotence.  It makes me feel that there are so many people around me who cannot do work or cannot deliver quality because they don’t think or in my words, I think they don’t have any taste of how they should live or see things.  It makes me feel that its hard coded in their brain to stay in their own world of impotence.

I need money.  Not some money.  A lot of money like 200 crores and every day I wake up with this dream and live in this dream.  This is the only thing that inspires me.  But some times on some days I fall short of courage to move ahead.  I get hit by the daily chores which I don’t want.  I want to stay healthy in my thoughts and moves.  I’m practicing the good things everyday and everyday my interest for the good deeds is increasing.  I’m being ethical at work and at myself.  I have stopped cheating my self that I’m rich.  At this moment, I have some money in my bank account and I know that it is not enough for more than 2 or may be 3 weeks.  But I will move ahead in the same pace.  I will read what I like to read.  I will read more about technology, make wonderful presentations till the point that I’m satisfied.  I love my work dear.  I’m so much interested in my work that I feel like if the day had few more hours between 9 to 11, I could have spent more time working.

I stopped dating.  I stopped traveling on arrangements like marriage functions, anniversaries, programs, dances, salsa, beer, parties, women, fun, cinemas and everything else other than work.  Its been almost 8 months since I touched a lady from friendship or romance or date or even casually.  Sometimes I even felt I should have a woman next to me but in sometime I get back to work and work seems more romantic than woman.  The pleasure of being successful at work at what I want is sweeter than sex.

I used to be a smart kid.  The circumstances have changed so much that it feels like someone is playing chess with my life.  I have survived 29 years of my life, in which the first 20 years followed by few more years, I have a life in illusion and dreams.  It was sheer luck that I lived those years.  There are memories associated in every year.  I remember all of them.  While I was in inter 2^nd year, on a day of internal exam, I went to college early.  I was the first guy to enter the exam hall.  From the window of the room, I could see that a beautiful girl sitting in the opposite classroom.  I always wanted to see her, sing with her, dance with her, be with her, just spend time with her with no one to ask me or stop me from doing this.  I saw her in the room and she saw me.  I felt suddenly my heart beat faster and stronger.  I looked at her and turned my face to my desk.  I just wished she liked me.  Now I’m sure she would have got married to a handsome man with a handsome salary and perhaps they both are having fun at the stunning locations of Pennsylvania.  And I’m in India in my hall midnight sitting and writing this just to ooze out some stress.  But her face was worth watching, such a beauty.

I will be back with a big bang story of struggle, timing, luck and success.  I will have lots of memories even then.  Stay tuned.

Come Home

Off late I found that home is the best place in this world.  In the last 6 months I understood why my dad always used to say 'come home sunny' whenever I sounded low or not normal. Life is too short and unpredictable.  Go home guys.

DC: Blr
YoJ: 2006 and excited
YoL: 2009 and super excited

I still admire her

#4423-"I once admired a girl at Infy Blr so much that even when people despised her for her attitude, I don't know, I could never stop thinking about her. My first interaction with her was when she posted in BB. I responded to her post with logically right opinion. I still don't know what happened to her that morning, may be she missed the bus at btm, she blasted me with an irrationally wrong email. I was confused. I dint know what to do. I thought to myself if she was ok. We had some series of blasting mails on each other that day. I never met her, I mean I never got a chance to talk to her directly. I asked her to join me for lunch a number of times over chat. She never agreed. All she said was that she would come with me only when she wanted to come. But such a day never came. Every time that I asked her, I coincidentally went to the same food court in which she was with some irritating abnormal guy for lunch. I used to see her from far and thought to myself 'why (her name), why'. Even after so many rejects, I still don't have any bad feeling for her. She is awesome as always. I always remembered her in orange, blue and while chudidaars. One of my good observations about her was that she turns back more often to check who is behind watching her, whenever she wears a blue-white combination chudidaar. My heart pulse used to rise when ever, I get to see her face to face accidentally at food courts. And I still remember all the instances I met her like that. I wanted to go and tell her how much I admired her everyday. I used to feel that she doesn't bother me. She already had an overwhelming number of fans/friends like a celebrity. And Yeah,,, today she is enjoying a bigger celebrity status. But I never stopped liking her or thinking abou her.

Yoj: 2006 and excited
Yol: 2009 and super excited"

"who visited my profile" a story of facebook

Most misunderstandings and envy feelings begin from social networking. Bloody hell this thought sucks but the ramifications are awesome.

A lot of break ups would have been faster if facebook introduced option for ‘who visited my profile’.

Faster breakups would increase the probability to find a partner for the singles and for the couples who already broke up the probability to mess up things in life would drastically reduce.

An affair which should last for 3 or 4 months will now last for 2 or 3 weeks. Life begins to hit people more often than they anticipate. Hence leading to faster realization of dramas of life.

This leads to sudden increase in maturity levels especially among young crowd. More settlements and less divorces,,, awe savvy :D

Men who are simple/normal, healthy and very importantly who don’t have body like Salman Khan u know, will become more confident about themselves as women will begin to look at the Einstein in the man rather than someone with big biceps and triceps like terminator,,, awe u got it.

All women who are under the false impression that life is all about makeup, few pegs of vodka or money or gold or jewelry, a fast drive in car or bike, or a stylish walk with heels on,,, can now understand that men look at them not because they are beautiful or sexy but since they are doing something too much to handle and it is safer to just see them do from a distance.

With all this realization, people will soon realize that everybody has only 24 hours in a day and of which the active office hours are between 6 and 8. Thereby they work and let others do their work too. They will understand that there is somebody or something waiting for them outside office and will begin to take a walk in the fresh breeze in the evenings. They will begin to observe the stars in the sky, the colors of butterfly, the smiles of people, and how green the world around is.

And finally they will update how beautiful is life in the what’s on mind column of facebook :D However we are well aware that beauty attracts no matter where the hell it is (in this case it’s social networking). Attraction leads to madness. Madness to misunderstanding and misunderstanding to being envy. Again, bloody hell this thought sucks but the ramifications will be awesome. Life’s a vicious circle u see :D

“We end where we first start and we start where we last ended.” - Eshwara

At the end of a jumbled day

You should see me on the first day. I have been working on a project for the last 10 days and you know what I haven’t achieved anything until now. Every day I spent 8 hours only on this project and the end of the day I get the same feeling again and again. I did not achieve anything today. Man sometimes I feel that one has to be as artist to do things perfectly. I have been trying daily to get things alright but I don’t know where I’m heading to. I asked one of my seniors if they have struggled similarly during their time when they did the same tasks which I’m doing now. Yes he replied saying this is how you learn. And he is right. I may not see what I’m learning from my work but I will be able to see as I move ahead. As they say bird’s eye view. One will be able to see the bird’s eye view of one’s past only in the long future. Anyway it’s been nice working at office.

One of the big reasons for me to move the present firm is that I wanted to measure my growth and work. I wanted to feel it as I work harder and harder every day. I used to work assiduously for long hours in my earlier organizations but I could never feel what I was making. I used to enjoy the work by not thinking of the outcomes. The outcomes like what could be the financial gain to the company. What could have I possibly changed to make the firm a better place to work. I could not see all these things. And then I moved to where I’m. Here as I wanted it for the last few years, I’m able to see the change I was making. Its slow. I mean the change was slow. It was not so much impacting the current situation but in a long run at an unexpected time I did feel the change that I made. Coming back to the subject, it all seems that I’m in a jumbled world and I have to align things as the way that they are supposed to. I think that’s the biggest challenge for every body. We can see things are out of order. Completely disoriented. And we know that we have to change them. There is nobody coming for help. Once when we begin to work, some people would have noticed this but let me put it in words here. When we want to change things or when know what we are doing is right and we do them with conviction, we actually don’t feel time. We might feel pressure and stress of work. The temple of our head begins to ache,,, aaah in other words we suffer headache but interesting we don’t feel time moving at all. This actually makes me feel that the great scientists actually did their work with so much of conviction that they dint feel time and after many years of work they invent/discover things. Perhaps they would have thought that something is wrong here or something needs to change. And they are lost in those thoughts and thoughts become things. Exactly. These things that they worked made them forget time.

Did you ever notice the more we look at time, the more curious we become in planning our work. What if we don’t have time. What if we don’t get to see the seconds or minutes. What if we could only count days or mid days. Life becomes easier. We don’t have to have hourly challenges. We can work as long as it takes to reach mid day or end of the day. This thought feels lighters as one can just keep working. One can stop thinking on the number of hours left in the day or the number of hours that one has to spend in office or any other work place. Since now that we don’t have to count time we might not have short targets. We will then have long targets like monthly targets or fort night. But what I wanted to say here is that when we have monthly targets we actually plan, fail and then learn from the failures and plan well. We do plan to set all these steps in order. But the plan fail learn re-plan automatically happens. We will not be able to realize this as we keep working because when we have longer targets our mind actually gets relaxed and try to invoke the basics methods of doing the task. And then we get back to basics at once. Now is the chance for the mind to think differently. To do the same task in a different way. We might fail but we will enjoy our work because we are doing it in our way. Sometime later we might feel that what we are doing is not achieving what we wanted. And then we begin to observe what we did and replan. This in other words is called experience or a very important learning.

So dear friends if we don’t feel time moving as we work we inevitably learn many things. Thus one becomes wise with time without feeling the movement of time but enjoying every moment of time.

I know this concept is very crazy but just get to feel me after a long day.

As crazy as it gets with Fb :D

Why should I talk to my friend when I already know what’s happening with him. I will just look into Fb and I will know everything that they are doing. My point is, what good does a system do when it provokes you depend on it and not allow your mind to trigger a pulse to speak to your friends. I think there is something to review here; something as dangerous as a dangerous habit.

Sometimes it becomes very difficult to get rid of the most habituated silly things, at the same time we can’t really call them silly habits. But what are these habits like; do we have them in our mediocre life. Let me revise my habits once so that we both can make our things clear. Habits. If you observe them keenly, habits are the subtle things in our life for which we tend to tweet our normal modus operandi so that there is some small share of happiness or confidence in some corner of our lives. Sometimes they are so important that we ensure that our habits are fulfilled at the cost of anything else. Adamant. Habits are alluring. Oh wait! What are we arriving at,,, yup! we are gonna see the real face of alluring habits. Now I’m not gonna speak about good habits or the benefits of good habits or how should a habit be etc,,, Now take this: Habits are dangerous. Habits are corrosive to mind. Habits are the flames of destruction and they creep unnoticed in our lives. Making no sense right. Alright then lemme begin with something that seemed benign from beginning. Notice the word ‘seem’ from the previous line.

Something seems benign from its birth for our social engineering is Facebook. Facebook. How much do you know about Fb. What do you do when you have to know what your friend if most probably doing. What do you do when you forget your friend’s birth day. What do you do when you want information about some random person who happens to be your friend’s friend’s friend. Or what do you do when you are sad or feeling gloomy,,, do you look for Fb! If you are looking for Fb when you are sad or lost, then that is the weakest thing you are doing to yourself. If you have to know about the state of affairs of any of your friends, tell me what did you do when you not had this Fb. You spoke to them, isn’t it. But now you mostly don’t because you have Fb to put in your status and let people know what’s happening with you. And this is the very reason, why Fb is corrosive in nature to human mind. Did you talk to your friend when you were sad or when they were sad. Now I know that it is difficult to speak to 50 friends and tell them that you are sad. Instead you will just put it across Fb. But what are you actually doing. You are telling 50 people that you are sad and there by you are making all the 50 people to console you over Fb. This is the dependency that mind is creating over Fb. This is just at the façade. If you observe keenly, you will notice that even the most lovable friends who are in your reach are not talking to you in person. Even they are cheering you over Fb. Did you notice that and do you like such a thing happening to you. This very dependency that mind is creating with Fb is corrosive to itself. And that’s why I call Fb as a dangerous habit.

You stand at bus stop and wait for the bus. You have 5 mins now. What do you do. You pull your phone out of your pocket and connect to Fb. Observe what is happening to you mind. Fb is dominating your mind. It is not even giving you 5mins of free time to allow you to think on things that are important to you and rather compelling you to just focus on itself. Do you like this.

Do me a favor. Delete your profile from Fb and stay without Fb for few months. I’m sure you must have done all those things that were imminent for few years in your life. All those things which had lot of importance yet neglected begins to get noticed by your mind then. And you will begin to like it. What I’m telling you is not a pessimistic approach of looking at Fb. I’m just writing what I have seen happening with Fb.

Yet I don’t advise you to stay away from Fb. It’s a wonderful and the best known photo’s videos’ sharing site. Hehe! Take care.

I'm poet

Black and blue are two colors.

Grape wine and apple juice are two chillers.

Bannerghatta n Koramangala has two ‘Mast Kalandars’.

U n Me were two extreme IBMers,,, lol.

As always, my manager is busy,

Bloody facebook is a little fuzzy,

Damm! She is too choosy,

But what’s more important is that I I I I I I’m still crazy,,, lol.

The eXpendanbles the Dark Knight and our X-men,

but Harry Potter is the chosen one,,, hahahahahahaha!

If he Ditched you, then don’t you worry Janemann,

because Eshwar is here to fetch you from MiG 21,,, lol.