I
hope that there is way for everything. I
need a way for what I’m looking for. I don’t
want to seem confused even to the people who are looking at me. I just want to prove that there is God and
His will. I hope I will find way as I
move and walk with my dreams. I want to
establish a company which is powerful and gives people the best of the product
that I want to make. I don’t get sleep
because of I don’t feel accomplished with the day. I started living in present tense. I started to live and feel my dreams of
becoming rich and powerful with what I do.
It is completely different from any imaginary power of feeling of being
powerful. The people I have seen
recently have no education and no stress.
They are free from tensions of life.
I have met a man who has started his life as a daily wage construction
laborer and today he is peaceful and rich.
But I saw a power talking to me as I saw him in his eyes. His calm voice and pleasant smile dictates an
unwritten power of his simplicity. I
have seen people not doing proper work because they don’t have someone holding
a stick in their hand or monitoring them with a stick. I call it impotence. It makes me feel that there are so many
people around me who cannot do work or cannot deliver quality because they don’t
think or in my words, I think they don’t have any taste of how they should live
or see things. It makes me feel that its
hard coded in their brain to stay in their own world of impotence.
I
need money. Not some money. A lot of money like 200 crores and every day
I wake up with this dream and live in this dream. This is the only thing that inspires me. But some times on some days I fall short of
courage to move ahead. I get hit by the
daily chores which I don’t want. I want
to stay healthy in my thoughts and moves.
I’m practicing the good things everyday and everyday my interest for the
good deeds is increasing. I’m being
ethical at work and at myself. I have
stopped cheating my self that I’m rich.
At this moment, I have some money in my bank account and I know that it
is not enough for more than 2 or may be 3 weeks. But I will move ahead in the same pace. I will read what I like to read. I will read more about technology, make
wonderful presentations till the point that I’m satisfied. I love my work dear. I’m so much interested in my work that I feel
like if the day had few more hours between 9 to 11, I could have spent more
time working.
I
stopped dating. I stopped traveling on
arrangements like marriage functions, anniversaries, programs, dances, salsa,
beer, parties, women, fun, cinemas and everything else other than work. Its been almost 8 months since I touched a
lady from friendship or romance or date or even casually. Sometimes I even felt I should have a woman
next to me but in sometime I get back to work and work seems more romantic than
woman. The pleasure of being successful
at work at what I want is sweeter than sex.
I
used to be a smart kid. The
circumstances have changed so much that it feels like someone is playing chess
with my life. I have survived 29 years
of my life, in which the first 20 years followed by few more years, I have a
life in illusion and dreams. It was
sheer luck that I lived those years.
There are memories associated in every year. I remember all of them. While I was in inter 2nd year, on
a day of internal exam, I went to college early. I was the first guy to enter the exam
hall. From the window of the room, I
could see that a beautiful girl sitting in the opposite classroom. I always wanted to see her, sing with her,
dance with her, be with her, just spend time with her with no one to ask me or
stop me from doing this. I saw her in
the room and she saw me. I felt suddenly
my heart beat faster and stronger. I
looked at her and turned my face to my desk.
I just wished she liked me. Now I’m
sure she would have got married to a handsome man with a handsome salary and
perhaps they both are having fun at the stunning locations of Pennsylvania. And I’m in India in my hall midnight sitting
and writing this just to ooze out some stress.
But her face was worth watching, such a beauty.
I
will be back with a big bang story of struggle, timing, luck and success. I will have lots of memories even then. Stay tuned.
